By Jeff Copper, MBA, PCC, PCAC, CPCC, ACG – October 5, 2026
In a paper called “Self-Esteem Issues in Adults with ADHD,” Cynthia Hammer writes:
When I am asked to speak in the community on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, I often start by holding one hand behind my back and saying, “I was born with one hand tied behind my back.” As I was growing up, no one knew I had a hand tied behind my back – not my parents, not my teachers, not my friends, not even myself. As you probably realize, when you have one hand tied behind your back, there are some things you can do well – like eating soup with a spoon – and some things you can’t do well at all – like cutting a steak which requires a fork and knife. No one could understand why I could do some things well one day, and couldn’t do other things equally well on another day.
They assumed I just wasn’t trying hard enough—that I was lazy—that I was stupid. Usually, in annoyance, frustration, or the spirit of trying to motivate me, they said unkind and hurtful things, like; “We never can count on you.” “You always do something wrong.” “How many times do I have to tell you? Are you dumb or something?” No one ever considered that I had one hand tied behind my back.
And this is what my life was like, with one hand tied behind my back. Receiving constant criticisms from others that I wasn’t performing up to their standards.
Positive and negative comments collectively shape our self-esteem and self-worth. ADHD is not unlike having one hand tied behind your back. “Stop,” “Sit still,” “Stupid,” “Shut up,” and “Stop that” are the frequent negative comments directed at ADD-ers as symptoms flare up in everyday life. As a coach, I have yet to work with a person diagnosed with ADD who didn’t have a diminished self-esteem. What I want to point out is the impact negative symptoms can have on self-esteem. Ask yourself what is the value of positive self-esteem, which is often overlooked in choosing to medicate.
I realize the decision to take medication to manage symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is not cut-and-dried. In my experience, the topic can be polarizing. On one hand, many embrace the notion of popping a pill and going on their merry way. Others are vehemently opposed to putting any foreign or unnatural substance into their bodies. Ultimately, what to do comes down to individual CHOICE.
The benefit of taking medication becomes apparent fairly quickly: decreased symptoms, increased concentration, improved grades, and better performance. What isn’t immediately apparent is the impact on self-esteem. While self-esteem is intangible and not at the forefront of discussions, negative self-esteem always lurks in the background and is cited as a major obstacle to forward progress for those diagnosed with ADHD. Self-esteem needs to be positive and needs to grow. Positive self-esteem leads to a CAN-DO mentality while negative self-esteem leads to an I-CAN’T attitude.
What is the difference between CAN-DO and I-CAN’T? I-CAN’T effectively means you pay attention to giving up, not trying, or not trying to find a creative alternative. CAN-DO inspires creativity and allows you to find solutions you might not be able to see at first, like ordering shish kabobs (so the steak is already cut into bite-size chunks), asking others for help, or using a pair of scissors to cut the steak.
At the end of the day, ADHD is not confined to work or school. It impacts lives 24/7/365. It manifests in relationships, social settings, personal finances, and leisure activities. The intangible benefits of taking ADHD meds include being able to sit still, controlling impulsive behavior, taking the edge off hyperactivity, etc. The benefit of each reduces the negative comments that break down self-esteem.
You might think the point of this article is to persuade you to take ADHD meds. It really isn’t. The point is to inform you of the intangible benefits of taking meds so you can make a more informed decision.