By Jeff Copper, MBA, PCC, PCAC, CPCC, ACG – May 12, 2025
Emotional dysregulation was removed from the clinical conceptualization and diagnostic criteria for ADHD back in the 1970s. At the 2010 Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) conference, Dr. Russell Barkley reviewed the evidence and argued for its return. He went on to explain how the addition of emotion points to six things people can do to manage their ADHD. Continue reading “ADHD: Paying Attention to Emotion”
When it comes to coaching those with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), interest isn’t just something; it is everything. In reading this article, you will understand why interest is such an important part of coaching those with ADHD and how it can serve as a window to what is instinctive—or how those with ADHD are hardwired. 
Much has been written about Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Some of it is consistent; other things are confusing. Today, I’d like to clarify a few things.
As an ADHD and attention coach, it is my job to bring clarity to my clients by listening to what they are NOT saying (i.e., the unasked questions). I do this by asking questions that lead them through five simple steps designed to take them from stuck to aha. My goal today is to take the mystery out of the coaching process by showing you how my techniques move my clients forward by helping them choose their focus. 
I stumbled into ADHD coaching as a profession 15 years ago. Daily, most people go to work, but I go to fun! Two things I like most about the job is the creativity and helping people. It is even more rewarding to help those who struggle with limiting beliefs or the reflexive urge to focus on emotions. (Often, judgment is what keeps a person down.) 
If you’re like me, you’ve probably heard countless people use the phrase, “Every individual has a unique set of gifts, talents, or abilities at which they excel.” And, in my experience, this is definitely true. However, you’d be surprised to learn the number of people who can’t articulate their own unique set when asked; in fact, many of them find the answer to this question to be difficult and even intimidating. 
Sara has ADHD. She has struggled to pay attention throughout her life. Before coming to coaching, she was easily distracted and stressed out in crowds. It was only after she came to coaching that she discovered how to be effective at managing her attention and stress. 
Those with ADHD struggle with boredom more than neurotypicals do. This especially applies to bedtime. Boredom has been defined as the physical discomfort where one is motivated to escape it. In other words, if those with ADHD are uncomfortable or bored, they will seek comfort, even if what is comforting is something they shouldn’t do. It takes an enormous amount of cognitive energy to sit in pain when all we want is to seek relief. And when it’s time to go to sleep, those with ADHD have a tough time dealing with that boredom even for a few minutes.
We live in a society that fosters negativity and self-limiting beliefs. Just look at the daily news, the endless array of advertisements for things to “fix us,” or the fascination with the mishaps of celebrities as just a few examples.
The word “how” is an interesting word when you think about it. “How” can be used as a noun, a conjunction, an idiom, or an adverb. As an attention coach, I use “how” as an adverb. Adverbs work as adjectives to modify verbs. For example, “How do I pay attention to something?” To illustrate, let’s substitute “attend” as the verb in the following sentence: “How does one address the president?” becomes, “How does one attend to the president?” 
What is obvious to you? To me, what is obvious is a function of what you pay attention to. Not sure if you agree with me? Then pay attention to most jokes, parables, quotes, and metaphors. They all illustrate my point. Each one is designed to shift your attention to what is obvious. 
Those with ADHD often go through life with challenges that make them feel like they’re living in a maze where there’s an obstacle at every turn. But there is hope, because we now have a way to shed some light on what’s holding them back. Through a special lens I’ve developed over many years, we can look at our thoughts and beliefs to see what’s actually there. It’s called AttentionScope® and it’s incorporated into my new systematic program, Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out™. 
As an ADHD and attention coach, I frequently have individuals come to me for coaching because they are not getting the outcome they want. The majority of the time they are “stuck” because they are paying attention to how they believe something works (or how they believe it is supposed to work).
Frustrated by your weaknesses? Why not look at the opposite end of the spectrum?
I’m a fan of what I call insightful thinking, and I’m sharing a simple example that I think beautifully illustrates the difference between insightful thinking and methodical thinking as a way to help delineate the different types of problem-solving strategies. Let’s begin by defining a few terms so we are paying attention to the same thing.
The placebo effect has been documented to positively impact physical and mental health. How can this be? After all, a placebo is benign. It’s a sham or simulated intervention designed to produce a perceived or actual improvement. Many times, a placebo is used to reinforce a person’s expectation of getting well or moving forward. Studies show this phenomenon is pervasive. But, if a placebo is benign, how can it have positive effects? I’m calling this to your attention as evidence of the power of what you pay attention to. 
I’d like to share an old parable used by Mark Twain that I feel illustrates the dangers of searching for, or succumbing to, the control of others regarding what you should do in life.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Isn’t that what they say? But trying harder is impossible if you are already trying as hard as you can and getting no results. So, what can you do?
Jane, a woman with attention deficit disorder (ADD), came to coaching, wanting help with organization, specifically, getting things done. So, we focused our work on paying attention to what she pays attention to. Now, understand that this means we focused on her natural tendencies and habits, not necessarily on what she was consciously thinking of.
The first written record of the concept of ADHD coaching was in the book, Driven to Distraction, by Dr. Ned Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey in 1994. Little did they know at that time, the entire coaching industry would grow into a new ADHD intervention. In the late 1990s, a handful of individuals became life coaches that had ADHD and began touting the concept. In 2004, we saw the official formation of the ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO) as a means for coaches to come together and share best practices and competencies. 
What is insightful thinking, and why should it be understood as an alternative to methodical thinking or other problem-resolution strategies? Insight, or insightful thinking, is the sudden and immediate comprehension or understanding that takes place without overt trial-and-error testing. 
Self-awareness is an executive function, and success in life is highly correlated with self- awareness. Executive functioning (EF) is a set of mental faculties that enable us to identify, organize, and sequence relevant information over time towards a goal. In short, executive functioning is what we use to engineer a plan to achieve a goal. 
These days, there is so much competition for our attention. At times, it can feel like we are pulled in a hundred directions with all different mediums vying for emotional control of our hearts and minds (and let’s be honest, our wallets). It can feel overwhelming. 
Do you control what you pay attention to? Think about it! On the one hand, we have politicians, marketers, and corporate America all fighting to gain control of what we pay attention to for their own self-serving benefit. On the other hand, we have our pets, friends, parents, kids, and significant others all desperately vying for us to pay attention to them. Let’s face it, paying attention is hard work! It takes effort… and lots of it. 
Time and again, I have written about attention, and time and again, I have tried to illustrate that whatever seems to be obvious to you is a function of what you are paying attention to. So, if you want to pay attention to the right thing, then you need to pay attention to how things work by focusing on the process, not the result. To demonstrate that I really do practice what I preach, I will share with you an experience of how I put these principles into play a few days ago in my own life. 
Since the early 19th century ushered in the Industrial Revolution, we as a society have evolved from a one-size-fits-all way of doing things to a more highly customizable system of producing consumer goods. Now, humankind itself is finally starting to develop a better understanding of, and appreciation for, the diverse makeup of its people. More and more advocates are focusing on differences in ethnicity, sexuality, and gender. When it comes to neurodiversity, however, for the most part, many are still silent.
In preparing for ADHD Awareness Month in 2014, I realized that ADHD coaching first appeared in print in the book Driven to Distraction by Dr. Ned Hallowell and Dr. John Ratey. This book has been the best-selling book on ADHD of all time. To bring awareness to the public, I reached out to Dr. Ned Hallowell. Together, we did a podcast on Attention Talk Radio, acknowledging the 20th anniversary of the birth of ADHD coaching as an intervention.
If you’ve got ADHD and truly observe your behavior, you might come to realize that thinking is effortful. It’s very challenging for people with ADHD to actually pause and engage their thinking mind to override their automatic responses. There is value in doing that if you actually make that happen. 
Organizing your miscellaneous thoughts and ideas? UGH! The topic of getting organized comes up frequently in coaching, and I can relate to that personally. For instance, there’s a miscellaneous drawer in my kitchen. It’s the depository for things that don’t have a home. The top drawer of my bedroom chest serves the same purpose. Ditto my workbench in the garage. 
What is self-awareness? Is it just being aware of your own internal emotions and feelings? Is it being able to see yourself in the third person? Or is it being able to see life and situations at a higher level, not just awareness of yourself, but awareness of others? Many people with ADHD struggle with self-awareness.
In my talks, podcasts, and videos, I relate information and helpful advice on various topics concerning ADHD and attention. From time to time, I receive comments and questions from folks disagreeing with what I say, because they “feel” what they are doing works for them. 
The common theme to all of my newsletters is how paying attention to the wrong belief leads us to the wrong solution, and how being stuck is a symptom of paying attention to an inaccurate belief. As an attention coach, I find that, for most of my clients, the hardest part is not paying attention to the right things, but rather unlearning, letting go, or not paying attention to what the Ego believes it should pay attention to. 
The band Three Dog Night sang it best in their song titled “One,” with the lyrics that go like this:
Untangling a knotted fishing line because it was miscast might be frustrating, but it will pass. Being miscast as a fisherman? Now, that is a problem! As an ADHD and attention coach, I define “miscasting” as placing someone in a role and asking them to do something with an expectation of performance that is not supported by their underlying abilities. To better understand miscasting, let’s use horse racing as a metaphor. 
Social media, YouTube, video games, advertising… they are all about getting your attention.
In Super Bowl XXXVII, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ defensive lineup took the field for the first time. Each player introduced himself on network TV by stating his name and the college that drafted him. When Simeon Rice’s turn came, he stated simply, “Simeon Rice, the School of Hard Knocks.” Get it? Football? Hard knocks? Well, I got the pun and a whole lot more! Here’s what I got. 
Did you know that 50 percent of all doctors graduated in the bottom of their class? Early in my sales career, I loved sharing this very interesting fact; it proved especially useful when I was selling against HMOs in the days when indemnity plans meant you could choose any provider. That’s when I realized most anything that can be measured by definition is at or below average. This simple concept has fascinated me for years. 
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. There are times when a picture or a symbol can communicate things that are quite complex in a way that brings instant clarity. When you run across a graphic that really communicates and explains a concept, it’s transformative. Recently I stumbled onto a graphic that was so powerful I had to recreate the concept for my own so I could share it with you. 
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Yet, all too often, people come to coaching using just a single word, that is, a label, to represent HOW they see something, such as, “I am a writer,” or, “He is a leader,” when in reality the label lacks specificity and represents a vague picture of HOW things really are. As a coach, I prefer using digital descriptions instead of labels because I believe they paint a clearer picture of reality.
Thinking is effortful. It can be incredibly gratifying or intensely painful. Take the euphoria of an aha moment when you’ve solved a problem as opposed to struggling to regulate your attention and focus on a difficult or boring task. What’s more, the pressure to think on a deadline, in the face of writer’s block for example, brings on anxiety, which is the human experience, but it’s more extreme for those with ADHD. 
There are times in our world with new technologies or events that metaphorically tilt the floor of human behavior. When that happens, some things are easier, but others become more challenging. Those who lack self-awareness, effort, emotion, and willpower have no go-to strategy to survive an adversarial challenge. Metaphorically, those who are self-aware will spend the time and energy to climb the hill because they know, after climbing to the top, they can get back to what works. 
ADHD Heroes book (
In the ADHD community, we often hear about executive function, but why is it so important that experts often talk about it? That question is one many of us have asked, so we want to help you understand it in a clear context. That’s why we are pleased to release our eBook titled, “ADHD, Executive Function, and Self-Regulation.” It explains the process of executive functioning in the brain as it relates to ADHD, which Dr. Russell Barkley views as largely a challenge of self-regulation. 
If you are like me, you hated doing word problems in school. Word problems are hard because there isn’t a methodical way of doing them. Solving them requires insight, trial-and-error thinking, patience, and practice.