By Jeff Copper, MBA, PCC, PCAC, CPCC, ACG – August 12, 2024
We live in a society that fosters negativity and self-limiting beliefs. Just look at the daily news, the endless array of advertisements for things to “fix us,” or the fascination with the mishaps of celebrities as just a few examples.
The ego loves weakness, and we feed into it by focusing on it; and for some, this focus invades every aspect of life. The result for many is staying “stuck” and not moving forward.
To bring about real change, you must be willing to alter what you are paying attention to and embrace new beliefs. I’d like to share a parable with you that I feel illustrates this point beautifully:
Once upon a time there was an inn called the Silver Star Inn. The innkeeper was unable to make ends meet even though he tried to make the inn comfortable with a reasonable price and good service. In despair, he consulted a wise sage. After listening to his tale of woe, the sage said, “The solution is very simple. You must simply change the name of your inn.”
“Impossible,” said the innkeeper, “it has been the Silver Star Inn for generations and is well known countrywide.”
“No,” said the sage firmly. “You must change the name of your inn to the Five Bells Inn and have a row of six bells hanging at the entrance.”
“Six bells? That is absurd,” said the innkeeper, “what good would that do?”
“Give it a try,” the sage said with a smile.
Well, the innkeeper gave it a try and this is what he saw. Every traveler who passed by the inn ventured in to point out the mistake, each one believing they were the only one who noticed the mistake.
Once inside, they were impressed by how cordial the place was, choosing to stay and refresh themselves, thereby providing the innkeeper with a fortune he had been seeking for so long.
The moral of the story–There are few things the ego delights in more than correcting other people’s mistakes.
Do you know someone who is always pointing out the faults in others? Or are you like this? Think carefully about how much time you spend paying attention to the weaknesses in others or to the weaknesses in yourself. Through societal conditioning, this tendency to be critical and self-defeating has become natural and acceptable, but is it empowering? Are you celebrating your strengths and living the life you want to live? Or are you critical about what you don’t have?
While society has conditioned us to point out mistakes and see the flaws in others, the world, and ourselves, it is not a requirement to survive with such a belief system. You can actually choose what you pay attention to and choose what you believe. For example, you can choose to pay attention to the ego and look at the problems in the world, or you can choose to pay attention to what is positive and what is possible.
I invite you to consider this perspective: The innkeeper had been holding on to the belief that he had about keeping the name of his inn the same and, consequently, was in despair about the state of his finances. It was only when he changed his belief and embraced the new name-thereby taking advantage of the ego at work in others-that he profited immensely. You can profit, too. You just need to choose what you pay attention to and be willing to embrace new beliefs.