By Jeff Copper, MBA, PCC, PCAC, CPCC, ACG – October 14, 2024
There are lots of conversations around when you should disclose your ADHD and when you shouldn’t. In fact, it may be better to disclose only the symptoms, not the diagnosis. But sometimes it’s kind of cool and clever to find that there are benefits around disclosing it.
In an interview I had with Dr. Roberto Olivardia, he revealed one of his experiences where it felt natural for him to disclose his ADHD, which turned out to have a surprising perk. His advice is to try to get on the same level as the other person you’re dealing with. It’s a subtle shift from a tough situation to a more relational approach. This would show that you’re willing to collaborate and find common ground, which more than likely would bring a more positive outcome.
If you make it clear that you are not trying to negotiate or manipulate and that your goal is to resolve whatever is the issue, then you may be surprised that the other person is willing to accommodate your needs. How surprising would that be!
Dr. Olivardia described his experience where he used this approach and obtained a surprising outcome. Please check out my video interview, “Disclosing ADHD: It Has Its Privileges Occasionally.”
TRANSCRIPT:
Jeff Copper: Welcome everybody to this edition of Attention Talk video. I’m your host Attention Coach Jeff Copper, and I’m here with Dr. Roberto Olivardia, one of our favorites on Attention Talk Video. He’s always got great stories and we’ve got one today that’s just kind of fun and different. We’ve had Dr. Ari Tuckman on Attention Talk Radio talking about when you should disclose if you have ADHD and when you don’t. And it’s clearly there are some times, as we say, disclose the symptoms, maybe not the diagnosis. But sometimes it’s kind of cool and clever. And Dr. Olivardia, you have a really good story. I don’t want to tee it up, just can you share it with everybody?
Dr. Olivardia: Sure. My favorite airline to go is JetBlue. I just find it very comfortable and I like the TV screens on the back of the seats, and I had to make a change in flight, and it was past the 24-hour mark, unfortunately, just by a couple hours. And spoke to one of the representative there at JetBlue who was great, but she said, “Well, unfortunately, you kind of went past the line so I would have to charge you the cancellation or change fee.” And I said, it sort of just came out of me automatically to say, “Well, David Neeleman, who created JetBlue Airways has ADHD and dyslexia. I have ADHD.” And I said, “Well, David Neeleman, I feel like we’re kindred spirits, even though I’ve never met him, but we’re sort of like, maybe we can work together with this. Seeing that I feel this sort of kinship with him.” And she thought it was kind of funny and very interesting. I guess she didn’t know that.
And after just a little pause and talking with their manager, they ended up changing it, which was very nice. It’s a great airline, but it sort of just felt natural to disclose it.
Jeff Copper: It felt natural to disclose it. Now, in prior conversation you had said, come on, work with me, whoever it was.
Dr. Olivardia: Work with me.
Jeff Copper: Which is interesting too because I want to add is, as you described the situation, is you just kind of got down on her level and act like, hey, come on, we’re friends here, which is subtle. I want to kind of bring that out because there’s something to be said for sometimes if you’re in a tough situation and maybe if you’ve got ADD and maybe you did something that’s like, come on, work with me here and get to know them a little bit. It kind of softened them up as a strategy.
Dr. Olivardia: Absolutely. Yeah, definitely. I think with anyone, when you feel, take a more relational approach and say, hey, we’re just trying to work each other. I wasn’t trying to wheel and deal anything. It was just trying. I made an error in booking the flight and it was only a couple hours afterwards and they were fantastic. She was great.
Jeff Copper: So publicly, I guess we like to thank David Neeleman for being who he was to get you on the-
Dr. Olivardia: Absolutely. And JetBlue is great. I love JetBlue Airways.
Jeff Copper: Well, Roberto, thank you for coming on the show.
Dr. Olivardia: Sure. Thank you.
Jeff Copper: As always, appreciate it.
Dr. Olivardia: All right, great. Thank you for having me.
Jeff Copper: Take care.