By Jeff Copper, MBA, PCC, PCAC, CPCC, ACG – September 18, 2023
What is chronic fatigue? What is fibromyalgia? Are they related to attention deficit disorder? Although ADHD is not typically associated with either chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia, it does seem to be an unusual combination of features that those with ADHD complain of. For answers, I interviewed Dr. Joel Young, a psychiatrist at the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine (https://rcbm.net), who has studied and treated ADHD through the life cycle for 20 years. Continue reading “ADHD, Chronic Fatigue, and Fibromyalgia”
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Isn’t that what they say? But trying harder is impossible if you are already trying as hard as you can and getting no results. So, what can you do?
ADHD is an issue of self-regulation. As an ADHD and attention coach, I know that many of the tips, tricks, and strategies on the Web don’t typically work for those with ADHD. Often, these tips tell you there is a logic behind using a weakness to overcome a weakness, but this sets you up for failure. And that’s why good ideas or good solutions don’t work in the world of ADHD.
Jane, a woman with attention deficit disorder (ADD), came to coaching, wanting help with organization, specifically, getting things done. So, we focused our work on paying attention to what she pays attention to. Now, understand that this means we focused on her natural tendencies and habits, not necessarily on what she was consciously thinking of.
One of the biggest challenges with ADHD is self-awareness. To learn self-awareness, you need to look in the mind’s mirror. With ADHD, executive functioning is impaired, and it’s very effortful to be self-aware so you can override the automatic brain. That’s why the pause may be the most helpful tool to manage your ADHD.
ADHD relationships can spiral out of control and end up in hurtful conversations. Is that an outcome you will really want? How do you stop these interactions that only end up damaging your relationships? Once the damage is done, how do you repair or rebuild the trust? It’s not just by saying you’ll do better or you’ll try harder. You really have to get at the dynamics of the relationship and then work to understand each other. That’s what you need to develop conflict intimacy. 
Comedians make us laugh by using humor making fun of human nature. For instance, comedian Jeff Foxworthy popularized the phrase, “You may be a redneck if…” and then adds a peculiar behavior or trait poking fun at what it means to be a redneck. Another humorous example is one we learned from comedian Rick Green, that you can’t laugh and cry at the same time.