By Jeff Copper, MBA, PCC, PCAC, CPCC, ACG – March 16, 2026
In this blog post, I relate a conversation with Linda Roggli (https://addiva.net), author, retreat leader, and widely known as the “ADDiva,” to explore a deeply familiar experience for many with ADHD, which is pretending to be normal, wearing many masks.
Inspired by conversations about stigma with Dr. Stephen Hinshaw, we unpack why ADHD is so often misunderstood. Unlike conditions with consistent outward presentation, ADHD can look capable one moment and unreliable the next. This inconsistency fuels doubt, judgment, and, most importantly, self-protection. Over time, many people with ADHD learn to cope by creating personas designed to shield them from criticism and rejection.
Linda described these personas as “scripts” or “masks” that she and her clients unconsciously adopted early in life. Among them:
- The Perfectionist, working tirelessly to avoid mistakes
- The Life of the Party, using humor to deflect judgment
- The Intellect, striving to outthink everyone in the room
- The Space Cadet, lowering expectations to avoid pressure
- The Rebel, resisting control at all costs
- The Hothead, pushing others away with anger
- The Loser, giving up before failure can happen
- The Black Sheep, apologizing for everything
- The Superhero, taking care of everyone else to hide personal struggles
While these roles may offer short-term protection, they come at a steep cost. Constantly managing these masks is exhausting and often lead to anxiety, depression, insomnia, physical pain, and a deep sense of disconnection from one’s true self. Many people don’t even realize they’re wearing masks anymore, because the personas feel fused to their identity.
The heart of the conversation turns toward hope and transformation. Linda shared her own journey of late diagnosis, deep self-reflection, therapy, and coaching, and learning to slow down, listen inward, and separate who she truly is from the coping strategies she once relied on. Authenticity, she emphasized, isn’t about “fixing” ADHD. It’s about understanding it, honoring it, and designing a life that fits you—not society’s expectations.
I reinforced this message by naming a hard truth: It’s convenient for society when people with ADHD conform. But self-regulation, not attention, is the real challenge, and when people with ADHD stop trying to fit in and start listening to themselves, they often uncover passion, creativity, and purpose that had been buried beneath years of masking.
I emphasize a resonant reminder: you are more than your ADHD. You are allowed to have dreams. You are allowed to stand out. And while peeling off the masks can feel scary, the freedom on the other side is life-changing.