By Jeff Copper, MBA, PCC, PCAC, CPCC, ACG – November 24, 2025
When we talk about ADHD, we often focus on distractions, missed deadlines, or poor time management. But underneath it all lies something more subtle—and far more powerful. That is the stories (or the lies) we tell ourselves. These are rationalizations and internal dialogues that shape our actions, often without us even noticing.
If you’ve followed my videos or listened to my interviews on Attention Talk Radio, you’ve probably heard me describe ADHD not just as a deficit of attention, but as a challenge of self-regulation. In fact, I often simplify it even further: ADHD can be seen as a kind of dopamine addiction. If an activity gives you dopamine, you’re drawn to it. If it doesn’t, it’s incredibly hard to engage with it at all.
That means ADHD isn’t just about failing to focus; it’s about extremes. When you’re getting that dopamine hit, paying attention is not the struggle; the struggle is actually stopping and shifting your attention elsewhere. On the flip side, if there’s no dopamine, the challenge becomes whether you are able to start or to stick with the task in the first place.
This brings us to the concept of metacognition—thinking about how we think. Many people with ADHD use tools like timers and alarms to manage their time. But here’s what’s interesting about that. Those tools often don’t work. Why? Because they overlook something critical—the internal dialogue that’s going on in the moment.
Think about the last time an alarm went off and you ignored it. What did you tell yourself? Maybe it was, “I just need to send this one last email,” or “Let me just finish this before I stop.” These aren’t just thoughts. They’re stories…rationalizations that let you stay in your comfort zone by dopamine.
And here’s the kicker. Those lies you tell yourself often mask legitimate reasons. As an ADHD coach, I’ve seen this firsthand. Sometimes the resistance to stopping isn’t laziness, but rather about maintaining momentum. Just like rebooting a computer, breaking away from a task can feel like you’re starting from scratch later. For one of my clients, staying late at work isn’t about avoiding home, but more so about relieving pressure so she can show up fresh the next day.
The key isn’t to shame yourself for this. It’s to become aware of it. That’s the whole point of this message. I invite you to pause, observe, and reflect on your own internal stories. When you begin to witness your thoughts, you gain the power to challenge them, sometimes even overriding them.
So, take this as a gentle prompt to practice metacognition. Notice the stories. Question them. Consider whether they’re serving you or simply keeping you stuck.
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Thanks for your attention—and keep paying attention to how you pay attention. I’d love to hear your thoughts if you would care to post a comment.